It's been a long time since I did that stroll

Allow me to tell you my deep dark secrets for a moment. The reason reason I haven't been blogging very much lately is because I was avoiding this very post. It's been a long time coming, I've been thinking about it for a while, and it's the whole reason behind starting this damned thing. And yet, I've been hiding.

You see, if I put it on here, then I kinda, sorta have to follow though, yes? Lest one of you ask me and I'm forced to admit that I have failed. It's a double edged sword because while I have all these lofty goals of a sparkling clean house, everything in order and a cheerful disposition, getting off my ass and getting it done is counterproductive to everything I know.

In the end, I know it will be better for me, for mr man, for the kidlets. At the end of the day, I'll feel all accomplished and have earned a sense of pride. Being able to have people over without worrying what the house looks like, being able to locate a pair of socks that match without combing through three piles of clean laundry stashed in three locations, not rebuying stuff I already own because I can't find it. All these things appeal to me.

But the idea of actually getting it done??

I feel you, soul sister. I feel you. (Incidentally, I despise that stupid song and I screamed at the TV when it won a grammy but that's neither here nor there.)

Isn't that apron adorable??

But, as always, I digress.

So what, you ask, am I going to do about it?

For starters, while getting up in time to make the niblets' lunches is a vast improvement over rousing from bed long enough to make sure they were clean and fed before falling back into bed until 11 or so, it's clear I need to do more.

Because again, dark secret time, I was getting up and making them lunch, yes. I was even getting fully dressed and doing my hair and make up . . . before going back to bed and thus defeating the purpose.

Hopefully, my hair looked cuter than that. Although probably not when I woke up.

So, it's time to, once again, step up my housewifery game.

I started out with a bang. This morning, my kids headed off to school with a nice hot breakfast of bacon and eggs in their little tummies. And miracle of miracles, I didn't choke the life out of my whining seven year old. It was enough to tempt me back to bed. But watching her chow down of a cheesy pile of eggs almost made up for the sniveling.  Now I'm not planning to make them bacon and eggs for breakfast lest you fear for their tiny little child arteries. But I will be overseeing breakfast from here on out. I even bought a loaf of cinnamon bread for the petester. In the future, I might even make some kind of bread of mufflin every week.

The niblets won't know what hit them.

Now, don't go worrying I've lost my ever loving mind. I can't imagine a thing on earth that would compel me to get up at 6:30 in the morning and don a pair of heels. You know, in case you were worried or anything.

I'll also be making a concerted effort to eat breakfast and lunch, around normal breakfast and lunch time. I sort of succeeded this morning. I forced myself to polish off the blueberry cottage cheese double I bought yesterday at wally world. I say forced, not because it was such a large amount of food but because eating breakfast is a foreign concept to my bod, unless you count ordering from the breakfast menu no matter what time of day I head to Denny's.

All went well until I walked into the kitchen to toss the empty container and spied leftover scrambled eggs with delicious bits of bacon peaking out from a blanket of melted cheddar cheese.

Oh, good intentions, how quickly thoust flee in the presence of temptations.

I consoled myself with the reminder that I'd actually pulled my ass out of bed before daylight and deserved a reward in the guise of tasty, tasty bacon.

Sweet lord, is this post long enough???

I'm gonna be nice to you and to myself and pick this up tomorrow.

And so I say good-bye for now.

Pray that I actually get my behind out of bed again, okay?

Tradition, TRADITION!

Did any of you grow up eating Sunday dinner? We did, sort of. My mom would come home from church and make dinner for lunch. I always looked forward to Sunday, not only because I could never make food taste exactly like mom's, but because it was the one night of the week neither me nor my brothers had to cook. Mind you, I didn't care about saving my brothers a chore but I did mine not having to hear them complain about it or wait until the last minute.

I was the oldest so of course I was a secret squirrel micromanager, whispering furious instructions to my brothers where my mom couldn't hear. Or more like where I thought she couldn't hear. Now that I'm grown, I know why she came out of her bedroom and gave me the evil eye. Moms know so much more than you think.

So anywaaaaay, back to the point.

I miss traditions. I suppose I could wait for a couple to fall into place, but hanging out in bed watching House Hunters doesn't seem like much of a plan. P&p have gotten into the habit of having a movie night every Friday. Last week we watched an old school version of Alice in Wonderland. Tonight, it was Nanny McPhee. I'm thinking that's a tradition we need to keep.

And I'm resurrecting Sunday Dinner.

Pete's requested smothered pork chops sounds like the perfect start.

P.S. If you haven't seen Fiddler on the Roof, find it and get on it. kthanxbi

This one goes out to the one I love

So I have this friend named Amy. Amy loves her some lists. From what I hear, there isn't a thing Amy doesn't have a spreadsheet for. She just sold her house (congratulations!) but do you know what happens when a list addict prepares for a move?

Feel sorry for her husband, yo!

Despite my faux sorrow for poor Andrew, I've decided to take a page out of Amy's book and make a couple lists of sorts for my new housewifing ventures.

The first one will be a daily list. I've decided I need a schedule. Mind you, I'm a grown woman and shouldn't need to make lists for myself, at least this has been my argument up to now. However, my house has a different story to tell. I'm a girl who needs a list. So what should we put on a daily list? I'm sorry to report there will be no vaccuuming in heels and pearls for the simple fact that I don't have a carpet. But perhaps a simple reminder to do the dishes twice a day could be useful, yes?

I'll think about it.

Drop your suggestions in the little comment area and I'll update you guys on . . . how does Wednesday sound?

I was wrong

In the bad news category, I didn't have enough fabric to finish the apron I mentioned in my "Snarktastical sucks at daily goals" post. So now there is a sad, half done apron lying across my ironing board waiting for the fat quarter of purple fabric I need to finish it.

In the good news category, I have enough of the fabric on the right to start anew. YAY! So let's try this next 24 hours thing again.

In the next twenty four hours I will:

1. Cut out and complete one apron.
2. Cut out two child sized aprons.
3. Frog the legwarmer. (No, I still haven't done that. Shaddup.)
4. Read over the pattern directions for Heather's Hello Kitty bag.
5. Figure out what to do with the chicken thighs and mushrooms in my refrigerator.

She's Standing in her Underwear

I wish I could remember where I read it so I could give proper credit. But someone mentioned that only in the last twenty or thirty years or so have people relied more on diet and exercise than undergarments to deal with perceived flaws in their figure.

This could definately work to my advantage in the coming year. The simple fact is just as the lovely ladies in Steel Magnolias discussed, there was a time when no well bred lady left the house without the proper undergarments. I'm not sure I can commit to a full on girdle as I'm a cheap heifer and it's hot as hell in Georgia 75% of the year. But I do believe I can incorporate more nice underpinnings into my wardrobe.

Have you seen What Katie Did? The prices, while likely well worth it, are making the little baby jeebus who lives in my pocket weep sad tears of misery. And so, in frugal retro housewife fashion, I shall have to make do.

A little trip around the wonderful world of Etsy is in order, don't you think? After a quick look, I do believe this is a front runner. Though it doesn't seem like it, there's quite a bit I can do with this pattern. I could elongate the top to make a cute little cami or leave off the top for a half slip. The pattern on the right is the perfect size for my little pinky, I think.

P.S. Amy, I'm not buying them. I already have a couple patterns I can adapt.

Get Ready 'Cause Here I Come!

So what's the plan, Stan?

Welp, Rome wasn't built in a day, people so I'll start off small with a handful of easily accomplished goals. The way I see it, sticking to said goals will be the real test. So here's what I have so far.

"Dress for the Day"

If you're anything like me, you probably don't bother getting dressed until you have somewhere to be. And since I rarely have anywhere to be, I generally sit around in my pajamas for the majority of the day. This would apparently be a major no no for a Fifties housewife. For the next year, I shall pull myself from bed at a decent time, don a presentable outfit, a dab of make up and maybe even some jewelry, even if I'm just planning to clean. I will not, however, be wearing heels to vaccuum.

"Early to Bed, Early to Rise"

I can feel myself having the shakes already. But if I'm going to be a productive little busy bee, I'll no longer have time to lay in bed watching the People's Court or stay up all night watching Highlander. (Don't judge.) And lookie here, the People's Court comes on at nine am, just about when I should be done in the kitchen and settling down for some sewing time.

"Organization is the key to a happy home."

Okay so I totally made that up. But it sounds nice, yes? I won't be a schedule nazi or a neat freak but a good portion of this experiment is dedicated to being less of a slob. Organization seems to be the place to start.

Well, that's it for now. After all, if I tell you everything today, what else am I going to have to blog about?

"Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed."

HA!

That little gem was taken from a 1955 article in an issue of "Housekeeping Weekly." I'll give you a moment to stop laughing hysterically.

Need more time?

At first glance, you kind of sort of want to punch the man who wrote this in the face. And really, it had to be a man, yes? But let's ignore the part where they paint the wife as man's only salvation after a grueling day at the office and focus on the actual advice. While I might not agree that mr man's day was so immeasurably more difficult than mine, I do think that having a plan in mind and serving dinner at the same time every day is a really good idea.

So, that's goal one. Eat dinner by 6:00.

Speaking of dinner, want a simple recipe for potato soup?

4 strips of bacon. cut into small pieces
1 clove of garlic, smashed and minced
4-5 medium potatoes
2 cups chicken broth
2 cups water
1 bay leaf
1 cup half and half
1 tbsp butter
3 oz shredded cheese

1. Cook the bacon in a heavy sauce pan on high heat, stirring often until brown. Remove the bacon and set aside, leaving the bacon fat in the pan. Turn off the heat and try not to nibble too much of the saved bacon like my fat ass usually does.

2. Drop the minced garlic into the bacon fat and turn the heat to very, very low. While that sits, cut your potatoes into 1-2 inch cubes. Turn the heat up to high again and add the potatoes. Make sure you stir it fairly often so the garlic doesn't burn.

3. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper and a couple shakes of garlic powder. When the potatoes are all golden crispy, pour in the chicken broth and water. Add the bay leaf. Cover and let cook over medium heat.

4. After about ten minutes, taste the broth and add salt and pepper if necessary. Replace the cover and continue cooking on medium heat. Once the potatoes are fork tender, use the back of the spoon to mash them against the sides of the pot.

5. Remove the bay leaf. Then, stir in the cream, butter, cheese, and bacon.

6. Try not to die of happiness.